Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price. But what is that price?
For our girls—and for me, their Pāpā—we made a pact: their training camp would begin six and a half weeks out from the tournament.
This was only their second competition, so earning a medal would be a remarkable achievement. However, having both claimed gold in their debut at the NZ Grappler No-Gi South Island BJJ tournament in October 2024, the pressure they now felt to perform was completely natural.
The agreed schedule looked like this:
Mondays: AM: Bodyweight Conditioning / PM: Wrestling at Oceanside Jiu Jitsu
Tuesdays: AM: Sprints / PM: Guard Work
Wednesdays: AM: Rest / PM: Pipeline Hill Climb
Thursdays: AM: Bodyweight Conditioning / PM: Grappling at Oceanside Jiu Jitsu
Fridays: AM: Rest / PM: Guard Work
Saturdays: AM: Grappling at Oceanside Jiu Jitsu / PM: Rest
Sundays: Full Rest Day
The bodyweight conditioning sessions were structured as follows: 10 repetitions of each exercise, completed for 2 to 3 rounds.
1. Push-ups: Chest to floor with full elbow lockout at the top of each rep.
2. Partner Pull-Ups: Performed with straight legs and a wrestling "monkey grip"
3. Squat Jumps: Deep and full extension jump into the air
4. Sit-throughs: Full 180 degree turn front choke escape to back
5. Single-arm kettlebell shoulder press: 10 each side
6. Kettlebell swings: With exaggerated hip-extension
7. Partner-lifts from the ground to above head: Lifting below the buttocks, with a wrestling "gable grip"
8. Partner Squats: Deep with partner on your back, knees stay tracking
9. Abs and obliques contraction to kimura arm lock from closed guard: 10 each side
10. Hips mobility stand (from pigeon to lunge without touching the ground): 10 each side
With life—and the busyness that comes with it—things didn’t always go to plan. Some sessions were skipped when the girls were particularly tired. But we did what we had to do.
They were both excited and anxious about such a big event, and I reassured them that they had already done the hard yards. I reminded them to focus on themselves—not their opponents, where they were from, or what they might bring.
We arrived in Auckland on a rainy Friday, settled into our Airbnb after spending some fun time at the Auckland Museum, and went out for dinner that evening. We had to keep a close eye on Hapahapai’s weight, as she was edging close to the 25.9kg category limit. Waitohi, on the other hand, was comfortably under her 30.4 kg weight category and was encouraged to eat and stay well-fueled.
That night, we did a light drill session on the lounge room floor before the girls headed to bed, ready for weigh-ins at 8 a.m. the next morning at Barfoot & Thompson Stadium in Kohimarama. I stayed up watching the NRL on the tele, hoping I had everything prepared and ready for them in the morning.
The next morning, Waitohi weighed in well under her limit, while Hapahapai came in right on 25.9 kg—perfect. With weigh-ins done, she could now eat and drink freely. We headed out for breakfast, then returned to prepare the girls for their competition.
Hapahapai was up first and was ushered into the “bullpen”—the waiting area before her match — with about 20 minutes to go. That 20 minutes, however, turned into roughly an hour and 20 minutes. It wasn’t an ideal start, but she handled it well. Though a little confused by the delay, she remained calm and seemingly unfased.
Hapahapai’s first match was an absolute battle, going into double extra time—an exhausting additional seven-plus minutes—before she secured a hard-fought 4–0 victory on points. With barely 11 minutes to recover, she was back on the mat, this time facing her own teammate, another future gun from Oceanside Jiu Jitsu. Once again, the match extended into extra time. Despite her grit and determination, two well-executed hip tosses gave her teammate the edge, and Hapahapai lost 4–0 on points.
Although she walked away with a silver medal, Hapahapai saw it as a personal disappointment. But for us—her team and her whānau—it was a huge success. Competing in only her second tournament, she showed incredible heart, technical progress, and endurance, especially after such a draining first match. The experience, while tough, was a powerful lesson and a sign of even greater things to come.
Waitohi, unbeknownst to her—but known to us—had been moved up a division into the grey belt category. I chose not to tell her before the tournament, not wanting to freak her out or add unnecessary pressure.
In her first match, she secured a solid 2–0 points victory. Then, in the final, she finished with a rear naked choke to win the gold. She was humble but clearly happy, flashing a big smile up to me in the stands. I was incredibly proud of her—overjoyed, really. It was a special moment.
Although Hapahapai was visibly upset, I reassured her, "This is sport—the most important thing is to get back up and go again." I told her, "There’s a South Island tournament next weekend in Blenheim." Without missing a beat, she looked at me and said, "Take me, Pāpā." I already felt sorry for whoever her first opponent up there might be.
After the tournament, we headed to the Sky Tower for a well-earned meal and a chance to relax. We then visited Maungakiekie (One Tree Hill)—somewhere they had never been before. I showed them where I used to live on Campbell Road during my time with the Warriors, nearly 29 years ago. I even pointed out the hill I used to park on so I could push-start my car every morning—but that’s a story for another day.
We made our way to the airport and flew home to our whānau, ready for school the next day. It was good to leave Auckland behind—too many people for our liking. The trip made the girls realise they never want to live in a big city with endless traffic jams.
One of the things I cherish most is coaching my babies at tournaments, calling to them in Te Reo Māori from the sidelines. To my girls—you are my world. I love you, and I am so proud of you both.
To everyone that helped our babies, tēnā koutou, all the coaches at Oceanside Jiu Jitsu—Hayden Smith, John Lentz, Steve Hill, Sam Stokes, Joe Francis, Kris Carson, and the rest of the crew—kei te mihi. Erin Hapi and her amazing whakamakawe skills - e mihi ana e hoa. To Mākuini, Jaymi, and Reyne, me ngā kiriata whakamihi - arohanui. To all our whānau and friends, far and wide, and all the many messages of support - nui te aroha.
Waiharakeke, karanga mai!
